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Victims' Symptom : glossary:ingratiation-projective-identification
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Ingratiation projective identification

The person who uses ingratiation projective identification continuously shows self-denialAvoiding the awareness of some painful aspect of reality by negating sensory data ... in order to gain the “other's” love. He ingratiates himself to the “other” by always putting himself in a secondary position. However, in instances of disappointment, this usually transforms into telling off or calling the “other” to account for what he has or has not done. Messages such as, “you did not appreciate the value of what I did for you!”, and “I sacrificeSacrifice is commonly known as the practice of offering food or the lives of animals or people to the gods as an act of propitiation or worship ...d myself for you!” are found in the covert communication. The persons, who are exposed to ingratiation projective identification, on the other hand, always feel that they are in a position in which they are obligated to feel grateful and express gratitude. Moreover, the aim of the person who uses this mechanism is to be appreciated. The covert communication message in ingratiation projective identification is, “you belong to me!” The message that they can be loved as long as they are useful was given to such persons in their childhood. The child learns that he/she will be regarded as valuable and will be loved, and even will survive in such a case that he is useful and does things for the “other”, in this case the parent (Cashdan, 1988; Göka, Yüksel & Göral, 2006).



  • Cashdan S. Object Relations Therapy. New York. WWNorton & Company, 1988:53-78.

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